What to do for Valentine’s day

Common complaints about Valentine’s day:

too commercialized. a hallmark holiday. a lot of pressure if you’re in a couple. sucks if you’re single (and you care). awkward conversations between single/coupled friends. just another day which happens to emphasis lovey-dovey-ness.

Sound at all familiar? Well, whether you are indifferent, energized, or dreading the day, it is coming up tomorrow and certainly we are all going to have a few thoughts over it. Whether we plan to or not.

The heavy commercialization of Valentine’s day makes it a day of confrontation- with ourselves. It is a day where we will inevitably assess our current relationship, or lack thereof. It has been this way since we were children. Think back to elementary. Remember? You made that little mailbox for yourself, garnished in hearts and kisses and stickers… and your parents bought you a set of cards to give to the other kids in your class? Wasn’t that sweet. Every Valentine’s day you received some lovely messages from your peers, whether they liked you or not. And you gave equally cute messages out to your peers, whether you liked them or not. Maybe this childhood ritual of giving and receiving is where our unreasonable expectations for Valentine’s day comes from.

Did you become accustomed to this especially nice treatment? Tragic when you grow up and realise that all the caring cards and hershey’s kisses were a lie- a false representation of the day. Don’t get too used to those niceties, kiddies! Cause we all know the truth, don’t we?

All those freebies come to a grinding halt when you’re an adult. One day you wake up on February 14th with an empty mailbox, no cards, messages, chocolates, and none on the way unless you have a partner (sometimes even if you have a partner.) You realise that you are on your own on this grueling day, your enemies don’t put up a front and give you a kiss (unless it’s the kiss of death), and the only person singing your praises is mommy dearest.

Okay maybe I’m exaggerating. Probably most people don’t care too much about it one way or the other. But just in case you’re looking for ideas on how to spend it, I have a few tiny suggestions for you all…

If you are single, and feel bitter and angry with the world because of a horrible ex who ruined your life: Have a bonfire! Collect all the pictures, presents, and representations of your ex and (safely) have a little light show to signify your moving on. If the idea of fire frightens you, then some good old fashioned tearing up of pictures can be just as satisfying and therapeutic.

If you are single, and lonely, and wishing you had a valentine: Be your own valentine! Spoil yourself. Make a giant list of the awesome things about you. Treat yourself to a little something. Buck up your chin. Find optimism, and know that you will find someone to love very soon.

If you are in a couple, but hate your partner: Have an experimental moment and shift your hatred to love on this special day! Remember that the line between hate and love is a very thin one. So change gears, and decide your relationship is worth celebrating.

If you are in a couple, and love your partner dearly: Get creative and show them the boundless extent of your love! Carve the words “I love you” into an apple, or pear. Write a gushy card, or hold their hand on an evening walk. Most importantly, give them your time and genuine attention. That is the most important gift you have.

Personally I’m really digging the apple carving idea. I think that’s my plan.

So what (if anything) are you doing for Valentine’s day? Leave me a comment!

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