The closer I get

In two short months, I will be graduating.

Exciting? Certainly.

But scary.

I feel like the closer I get to the big day, the more nervous I become, because this is it. This is no-jokes-about-it-the-real-world-lies-in-wait-for-you-so-go-make-life-happen, with a little bit of if-you-don’t-your-shit-together-you’re-going-to-end-up-living-under-a-bridge-with-the-hobos on the side. I have procrastinated starting real life for as long as I possibly could.. and now it’s in front of me.

On one hand I absolutely can’t wait, and on the other I’m thinking about the reality of what it is I’m actually going to do. The biggest joke is that all those years ago when I started university and had no clue as to what to do, I thought to myself it’s okay, you hang in there and by the time you graduate you’ll gave a solid plan.

Well….  it’s nearly time …… so where’s my plan? What the hell have I been doing? There’s no checklist in front of me, no job lined up. Just naked ambitions (meaning ambitions which are plainly in front of me, raw and unformed… not ambition to be naked. We clear? Yeah..) and a lot of dreams.

There are two things that I want to do: dance, and write. The problem is I don’t know how to make those things a sustainable reality for myself. All I know is that I will make it happen.

Somehow, some time, some way.. I will make it happen.

I hope you heard that universe.