It wasn’t a matter of
On a different path,
you’re still in my heart.
It wasn’t a matter of
It wasn’t a matter of
On a different path,
you’re still in my heart.
I decided that if I’m going to spend anytime online, I may as well try to focus some attention on this blog and writing rather than watching youtube and wasting time. I haven’t touched this blog for a long while, but I don’t care. I’ve had no reason not to write. There’s no reason to write and no reason not to write. So what to do?
Today I was walking my dog and started to have a small panic attack because I could not handle the cold wind and snow blowing in my face anymore. For some reason this winter has seemed extraordinarily long and it’s really getting to me. Everything has been covered in ice for so long I actually can’t stand it. I wish I had a dog who hated the cold and who just wanted to go out, do his business, and get back in as soon as possible. But no. I have a tiny dog who loves snow and who will still demand an hour walk even when the temperature outside is mimicking that of the death zone on Mount Everest. Speaking of Mt. Everest. I recently became pretty infatuated with the idea of climbing it. (Did you know that there’s a sherpa (Kami Rita) who has summited Everest 22 times?) I was reading about what goes on up there and it all sounds really awful and yet, kind of enticing. Then I go outside for 30 minutes when it’s winter and snowing and I remember how much I hate being cold and snap myself back to reality. I’ll just say it in writing so I can get over it… I’ll never climb Mount Everest. If I tried I honestly believe I would die 100% for sure.
Here’s the view from my apartment balcony
Doesn’t it look dismal?
Anyways so that’s an update on me. It’s cold here and I haven’t climbed Mt. Everest.
What’s new with you?
So the other day I finally had my first “audition” of the year… it was a self tape. A self tape means (like it sounds, I guess) that you have to film the audition yourself, edit it all together, and send it off to casting.
Producers/directors love the self tape style of auditioning people because it means they don’t have to bother with the tedious and often gruelling process of actually meeting actors. It means they get to save precious time and money and make the whole process as distant and disconnected as possible.
I mean sure, they could meet us to get an idea as to what kind of people we are, see what we have to offer, and get a sense of whether we’d be fun to work with, but meh! Why bother? The self tape means they can say ‘absolutely not’ without having to bother with those pesky in person niceties that we all hate so much.
But hey I’m not bitter! That’s enough with the sarcasm… I’ll play the game like the rest of ’em.
This is my “My name is Heather! Please go ahead and hire me” smile. Which I include in every tape and which maybe nobody has ever bothered to actually watch… until now that is! Thanks you guys!
And this is my “I’m busy playing video games” expression. This tape was for a very odd and slightly awkward to film commercial (think old spice feels). I had to be engrossed in a video game and then become cold (??). So yeah, had fun with that. Of course every one of my friends and their dogs submitted for this audition and nobody has heard anything so far. Such is the life. Still, at least it was a relatively short and easy to do. Once I had to put together a tape for “Grease” the musical. I had to read some crazy 8 pages of sides for 4 different characters, choreograph a dance (which I ended up filming in the parking garage of my building) and sing a full recording of a 50s song… the whole tape was 10 minutes long and took me an entire day to put together and I heard NOTHING. Not even a “thanks for submitting”. But I wasn’t too bothered. I mean don’t even like Grease.
Anyways I hope you all had a magical Sunday! Feel free to let me know what you got up to.
As always thanks for reading xo
So carrying on from the last part of my adventure, our group continued driving through the night until we ended up in the parking garage of a sports complex somewhere in the lil’ town of Flims, Switzerland. We slept that night in hammocks in the women’s locker room– not the most comfortable or warm, but pretty exotic really and it does make for a funny memory.
When morning came the next day I woke and ventured out to see my surroundings properly. We were in pine and mountain territory which suited me just fine (having grown up a hop skip and jump away from the rockies). The rigging crew was already hard at work setting lines up for us to play on for the next couple of days. Adam had still not arrived by this time, so I and a few new friends set off sauntering down the path toward Caumasee Lake which is just about as beautiful as a lake can get…
We took to the paddle boat and set off to explore. We paddled, then jumped off a diving board and swam through the water which was far more icy cold than I anticipated. This lake is tucked away by these beautiful big fur trees and the water is this blue/green hue that glistens like some fairytale scene.
This place was the last stop on the waterlining tour, which was perhaps a good thing because the weather was starting to take a turn for the worse. Whereas in Sion it was swelteringly hot, in Flims it was overcast and pouring rain. I was surprised to be pulling out my toque and warmest coat on only our first week of the trip.
And our camping situation? That was something else entirely. When Adam finally arrived we had to sort out what to do. None of us wanted to set up our tents in the soaking wet grass and under the pouring rain, so we decided instead to set up in the parking garage…
Sorry for the very poor quality video, but to be honest when I was in the moment it didn’t seem like a something to capture in HQ! I just took this one quickly as an update for my mom.
As you can see we huddled all of our tents together and sectioned ourselves off with some tape. Cars rolling in must have been very surprised to see our little makeshift garage campground. That’s where we were hanging out, preparing our food and making friends when the rain was pouring down. Every time there was a break in the sky we would race back down to the lines for more fun…
I’m pretty new to this sport, but I was completely floored by the immensity of this operation and the dedication of those doing the rigging– they worked tirelessly all day through cold, wind and rain to get these waterlines up. The passion that exists within the slackline community is so rich and lovely. Everyone is adventurous, positive, and up lifting. They take care of each other. Even when the weather absolutely sucked everyone put in their best effort to battle these lines and make the most of it.
If you want to see a few of these incredible humans in action…
Remember this water is super cold, the air is hardly any better, it’s raining like crazy most of the time, and these lines are extremely difficult and challenging to walk. Meaning that these are actually super humans you’re watching! 🙂
It is really remarkable to my eyes. While I didn’t get on any of these lines, I was certainly grateful for the company, the scenery, and the adventure.
If you’re interested in seeing a little more of what I was a part of, these awesome peoples also made this video about the event, which is below!
That’s about it for part 3, thanks for reading!
Part 4 coming soon 😀
When I moved to Toronto to pursue acting two years ago I was wildly optimistic. I envisioned talk show interviews, red carpets, sparkly lights, glam dresses, set life— actually wait a minute, HAHAHA. No I didn’t. I’m a dreamer, but also a realist… which is maybe a bit contradictory. I didn’t imagine being the next insert-actor-name-here, that’s never been my goal. I did, however, imagine being able to support myself a little more comfortably with the help of the odd job here and there. I did imagine booking real acting roles with substance that were both fun and challenging to perform. I imagined that the arts culture here would help me to discover and shape my craft.
Some of these visions have come true, and others not so much. Most of my circle is comprised of like-minded souls who are in the arts community in some form or another. Lots of actors, musicians, dancers, artists, writers. We’re all here for the same reason— for the opportunity to share our stories and our talents with a community that cares. We’re here to be discovered, to create, and to have a voice.
The past few months have been very introspective for me. To be perfectly honest they’ve been a bit of a struggle. I only have myself to blame, I mean, who goes galavanting around Europe for two months knowing they’d be coming home broke and stressed and still goes anyway? I have no regrets. But it does mean that I’m looking objectively at my life choice of pursuing acting and what that means for me in terms of being able to actually support myself— while ideally maintaining some form of sanity. Not to mention trying to maintain my creative charge. Life can be pretty difficult in this concrete jungle which is one of the most expensive cities in Canada. On the plus side, one of the great things about being an actor is that when you do book jobs they pay very well. I have paid an entire month’s rent based off of one commercial booking which was just a day’s work. Print jobs are nothing to shake your head at either. The reality, unfortunately, is that most of the time I’m not working. Acting jobs are not something you can count on. And in that sense, a large part of this career that I’m after is totally out of my control. Yes, I can work on my own projects and hone the craft without a booking. But I’m talking straight up just surviving in the city without losing my mind.
It feels like the plan to be an actor translates into not having a plan at all.
A lot of us turn to restaurant jobs to pull us through. I did that for my first year here, but not again. It wasn’t for me. Each day I could feel my soul abandoning my body due to the sheer monotony. I said goodbye to that job and started something else, another pursuit which also didn’t work out. I stressed so much about what to do. Then 2018 rolled in and I made a promise to myself that no matter what I wouldn’t spend any time in a job that didn’t in some way satisfy my soul. If I wasn’t working as an actor, then I would be working in the field of some of my other interests.
I decided to start my own business. It’s very slow and not bringing in much more than pennies at the moment, but I hope that with my dedication and hard work I can see it grow throughout 2018. I’m also going back to my roots this year— teaching yoga and dance— and as an added bonus, as I mentioned in the previous post, I’m also starting a few photography projects.
Where will it all lead? I have no idea. But I feel a lot better now in not having a plan and instead having many plans. Because, why not? Life is not a cookie cutter event, it’s in our own hands and in our own power to mold into whatever cookie shape we want. When times are tough, I can still smile. When times aren’t tough, I’ll appreciate it more.
Someone once told me that if my life were easy, then I probably wasn’t on my own path. Well, things aren’t easy. So I guess that means I’m headed in the right direction.
If you have any thoughts on the subject I’d be interested in hearing them.
As always, thank you for reading.
Today the sky decided to cooperate for once. Rather than showing us its usual grey and dank disposition it decided to show off with it’s brightest blue. I decided to celebrate the sky with a little walk and thought I’d better take some photos while I was at it.
Another new year is here and to mark the occasion that is 2018, I decided to pick up a couple of new hobbies. One of those is photography and the other is water colour painting. I’m not sure why I decided on the latter because I have never really had any artistic talent (which has been made evident by my first few attempts), but I figure I don’t have anything to lose and it’s something I’ve often wanted to try, so… why not?
I’ve also toyed with the idea of deleting this blog lately because I neglect it so much. Most often it manifests in my life as a source of confusion and guilt. Guilt because I’ve never been able to find the passion for it that I once had, and confusion because I can’t quite bring myself to get rid of it despite never updating it.
Where do you guys find the motivation to write and share? Is blogging dead? Should we all just start youtube channels? What is life?
Please leave your answers in the comments, especially for that last one because I so often wonder 😉
And oh yes, Happy belated new year wordpress fam ❤
It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Maybe some of you thought I died on my travels, or maybe you thought I’d given up on blogging… more than likely no one has thought of it at all! But I’m here, I’m back! I didn’t die– although I came close a couple times. When I say I came close I mean in the most hyperbolic way possible, of course. Although you might think you were close to death as well if you wandered through a forest in Denmark and ran into this:
It was the first of a few menacing mannequins/possibly demons(?) that made me think I was in the middle of a horror movie…
but then nothing happened. Still, what an adventure two months in Europe was! I think I took more than 2000 photos. So many things happened, I met so many people and I learned so much. I can’t wait to share the adventure with you all. I’ve been readjusting to regular life in Toronto for the last two weeks and though I’ve been keen to start writing, I’ve also been busy trying to get some new projects off the ground here.
Now the most important question: how are you guys doing? Tell me things! Write me an email! Post a picture! Link me to your blog! I want to catch up 🙂