it roars in my ears
hollowed out by ungrateful sentiments
given rise by prolonged hibernation
through a muted winter
somewhere through mischievous cracks
summer is breaking down concrete walls
skipping over spring altogether
greedy in its ambitions to thwart
to consume until it has dominion
no more me-
a serpent famished, starved
hungry for its next meal
slithering over organs
taking them hostage
coiling through blood
white cells crushed like feathers
beneath smouldering boulders
I am washed over in its image
powerless against its frightening ardor
shaking, I will carry out its desire
I sit here- a once benign spark
atop a tank of eager gasoline
waiting impatiently for ignition
Anyone got a light?
8 thoughts on “the roaring”
Wow….. I love love love this poem…. the imagery of a serpent slithering over organs, taking them hostage…. and the image of sitting on gasoline and still wanting a light… wow… I love love love love this….
thank you! I really appreciate you taking the time to read 🙂
There are bits here that stand out and above other parts. Ever consider re-arranging some parts to make a poem sharper with more impact?
Yeah I know, and I always consider that. Actually I’ve never been fully satisfied with any of the poems I’ve posted here. This is only the second rewrite of this particular poem, sometimes I’ll rewrite one 3 or 4 times, or more, or not at all. Most often I just let them go early even though they are far from being the strongest they could possibly be. It gets them out of my head so I can do other things. 🙂
Understood. This one could almost work backwards, paragraph by paragraph… and then adjusted here and there…. like dancing in two directions.
You have real talent, and putting across a keenly worked piece would elevate you and your admirers. It’s only my opinion, and you should keep your own counsel about it.
Thank you. That means a lot, and you’re right- working on polishing a piece makes the result more rewarding. I appreciate all your opinions and comments more than you know! Always brings a smile to my face to see that you have read one of my poems. I shall take your advice to heart xo