This is what mindless work does to me

So after working a mind-numbing job I hate all day I came home unnecessarily grumpy and proceeded to wonder why on earth no one in the world is paying me millions of dollars to write poems and dance all day. I mean that’s not such an extravagant request, is it? Sort it out universe.

Anyway. After that I proceeded to get more and more tired, which led to being more and more grumpy. However, within the last hour or so I’ve moved on to the more fun stage of being over-tired. The everything-I-do-and-see-and-hear-is-funny-but-only-to-me phase. This phase is great for the first 40 minutes or so before you miss the sleep window and then you’re in the twice-as-grumpy-as-before-except-now-you-can’t-sleep-and-the-world-is-awful phase. But before I get there, I thought I’d go ahead and take advantage of the stupid fun and share with all of you unfortunate enough to be reading this what I spent the last half hour of my life thinking about.

You see, I happen to think I’m pretty hilarious, although only my best friend would agree with me and everyone else thinks I’m just an idiot. But let’s junk with the naysayers and assume for the sake of this awful blog post that I’m right. A long time ago (we’re talking 8+ years) I used to write down what I thought were some highly amusing jokes in a journal and assume that one day, when I was a talented artist (which has/will never happen) I’d compile them into some sort of comic book. I hadn’t thought about that ridiculous notion for many years, but then I started to think about comic books, or graphic novels (I’m hip with the modern terms). Then I started to think about villains and superheroes.

I don’t know why.

Anyways, this train of thought progressed until I got it in my head that I could write an awesome graphic novel centred around my dog, Buttercup, who is very much a villian and a hero in one. Pretty exciting premise, right? If you’re not yet convinced, I present you with this:

ButtercuptheHowlerss

Amazing.

I envision her as an impossible-to-contain mega hero with zero tolerance for injustice. She strikes at the slightest infraction of the law, and only with the help of me, her sidekick, can she be contained. She is both menace and hero, loathed and loved. I named her the howler because she likes to bark incessantly at home. It drives me up the wall, but now I realise she must be using her barks to alert her superhero friends of various crimes happening around the world that she detects with her superior hearing powers. It’s all starting to make sense.

Actually here’s an incomplete impromptu list of her powers, as I see them:

  • A bark that deafens and incapacitates foes.
  • Breathes underwater, thus can drag enemies into the depths to drown (she is a water dog so this makes sense).
  • Digs holes which enemies fall into and are stranded until someone comes to dig them out. [addendum: Buttercup leans over the hole and drools on them while they are stuck there. And she has an obscene amount of drool, so this is a particular punishment.]
  • Menacing growl which paralyses.
  • Uncontrollable temper which frightens and strikes fear in the hearts of those who cross her.
  • Humongous canines capable of piercing through an arm, or leg…or heart.

Yeah..

I guess I’ll stop there and go get some sleep before I completely lose it. Feel free to unfollow on your way out of the post.

34 thoughts on “This is what mindless work does to me

  1. I will keep my open on the poetry job posting for you πŸ™‚ keep chasing your dreams until you know in your heart you’ve given them every chance. Life is worth it.

      1. Thank you for visiting my poetry site.
        I just started playing with haiku but haven’t got it right yet.
        But it got me a visit from you and that got me a memory, and that took me for a ride in which I was young again and looked into your eyes and knew you longed for someone who understands your spirit and then without waiting for an answer disappear to reappear at random moments in the middle the night to place roses on your windowsil and a glass of wine next to your sleeping Head. I’d throw snowballs at your window at 2:30 in the morning because I found an all-night store on the whim when the moon was full on the night of the first snowstorm of the season and covered everything in beautiful Lacy white making it all almost supernaturaly beautiful including the streetlights and their yellow beams hanging like cones from metal poles and shining on the snow and I knew you’d want to go down the hill just once on the sled together. I’d take my hands off the bars on the motorcycle we rode so I could watch your hair streaming the wind and laugh like a wild man for the simple pleasure of knowing there was another spirit alive who understands magic and had a heart which hadn’t died.
        And though we’ve never met and shouldn’t as it’s far too late you can think of me as anyone and know that somewhere out there is another Wild heart who will know you the minute they catch side of your face and never treat you like less than strong or treat your and care for you with anything less than wonder and gentleness. Who will sing to you for simple joy of having your company And hearing the wild and beautiful stories that run through your mind like Red foxes on the emerald carpeted floor of the perfect forest. And last but not least I would promise both our hearts never to forget my wonder at your existence and mine knowing that without wonder we could not be.
        Thank you for that is a lot to receive as a gift from a friend of never met and I hope you receive my story as a gift in return keep your eye out and never lose the belief that the magic is all around you.

      2. I think it would now be impossible not to believe since you’ve left me this most genuine, lovely, and wonderful comment. I can’t tell you how appreciative I am.. just know that I will carry these words with me. Thank you for reaching out, dear friend. ❀

      3. Is always a risk to leave a piece of my heart somewhere and always a great pleasure to find out it pleases and is received as a gift, thank you also.
        Alex 🌹

      1. No need to be sorry πŸ˜› I get it, trust me. As for the comic author, one way to find out πŸ˜‰ Hope your experience gets better with work.

  2. As much as I like your poetry I think you should do this type of post on occasion to break things up – I thoroughly enjoyed it. And if you ever find someone to pay you millions to write poetry and dance send me their name – maybe they’d be willing to pay me millions to write draw and play music.

    1. That makes me very happy! Actually when I first started writing this blog I intended it to be nothing but this kind of writing, but somehow poems started taking over and I thought no one would be interested in reading this stuff. I’ll start the search for the millionaire and when I find them you’ll be the first to know.

  3. Stream of consciousness is a great art form. You should do more. I too wish I could make tons of money doing something I love like writing books. As with dancing and poetry it’s unlikely. Nice post.

  4. YOU… YOU… are absolutely GORGEOUS! Love the photo. TIP for you and all who read this: NEVER denigrate yourself or your artistry! Your viewpoint is uniquely yours and must not be compared to others, ever. But, keep writing. Awake, sleepy, grumpy or happy… keep writing, because writing makes you better, and a better writer. Write enough and you will find your unique style; so will the world. I welcome your replies. I welcome the love you have to give… even if it comes with inordinate amounts of drool!

    1. And you are absolutely wonderful! And also completely right. I hope I can remember this comment the next time I’m feeling useless so I just go ahead and carry on anyway.

      1. Absolutely, taereh! No one is a better friend in your universe than YOU! Persistence is a discipline that can be exercised.
        Plus… you are never alone. Ever. For one, I am here and I have your back. For others, look at your followers: THEY are your willing audience for whom you can dance and write.

  5. Strange, for I had a hamster (Mr Hamster to mere mortals) who, also happened to have superpowers similar to those of Buttercup’s, except Neville could not bark. However, his squeaks could shatter glass, which came in handy one night when we had a fire. Not only did his squeak wake us all up it also shattered all our window panes in the house so my family could escape. But this was not his greatest feat, for late one night the Earth became dangerously unstable as the magnetic poles started to reverse, needless to say, Neville saved us all. Running madly round and round on his blue hamster wheel he created enough kinetic energy to halt the world ending disaster and re-stabilise the magnetic poles; don’t ask me about the science.
    I am breaking my promise to keep Neville secret safe, because although he was very special, and he did not seek fame and fortune for his many great deeds whilst he lived, I felt after reading your post I should finally share it. Sadly Neville died in obscurity deep in his yellow nesting box many years ago, after having eaten too much cheese.
    Neville had many super powers, because even though he was just a small hamster brown and white hamster, everyone in my family still talks fondly about him. By the way, just the last line was true, the rest about the fire and the world ending, I stole form one of my bizarre dreams. I must have eaten too much mouldy cheese that day.

    The moral of this story, our true wealth is within us and it is that wealth that we should valve in ourselves and everyone else we encounter on our life journey, everything else is superfluous and is an unnecessary burden.

    I really enjoyed your post, sorry for the long essay but I was inspired to write this, by you.

    1. Ahh I knew Buttercup couldn’t be the only one! Neville sounds pretty impressive, if I may say so. Thanks for taking the time to write this amazing comment, it totally made my night. Gave me the biggest grin while reading it (which is something I have been sorely missing lately!) πŸ™‚

      1. It was my pleasure, and with the benefit of knowing you enjoyed reading it, I too am smiling. Did I use a super power or was I just being human and taking time to connect with someone. Priceless………. πŸ™‚

        I will listen out for Buttercup’s exploits on the News.

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